The Best Medical “Pick-up lines”

The Best Medical Pick-up Lines

By: LifeofaMedStudent

Every couple of weeks I’ll share a funny medical pick up line that I receive on #LifeofaMedStudent. It‘s frequently one of the more shared tweets that I send out. So here are a collection of some of the best #LifeofaMedStudent #MedicalPickupLines!

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“Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you!”

“You can fill my caudate nucleus with dopamine anytime ;)”

“Are you my appendix? Cause I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out!”

“Did you cut my phrenic nerve? Because baby, you take my breath away.”

“Maybe you need a little Vitamin ME in your life ;)”

“If I were a coronary artery… I’d be wrapped around your heart!”

“Girl, your personality is so magnetic I think our protons are in alignment.”

“Are you a pulmonary embolism? Because baby, you take my breath away!”

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, You make my heart skip, I think I have Mobitz type II!”

“If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase: So I could unzip your genes!!”

“If you were a concentration gradient, I’d go down on you..”

“Am I a non-competitive inhibitor? Because I want to attach to your posterior region!”

“Emphysema puffs pink, chronic bronchitis makes you blue, but no COPD makes me as breathless as you!”

“Girl, if we were lymphocytes, you’d be a natural killer.”

“Can I be your ophthalmologist? ‘Cause I can’t stop looking into your eyes…”

“Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless…”

“Hey I’m a medullary thyroid carcinoma and you’re a pheochromocytoma. We’re MEN 2B”

“You make my heart have Premature Ventricular Contractions”

“Are you epinephrine? Cuz baby you make my heart race….”

“Excuse me, are you osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition!”

“Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me!”

“Wake up happy! Sleep with an anesthesiologist!”

“You shift my emotional oxy-hemoglobin saturation curve to the left! Easy to bind, hard to let go..”

“I hope to someday be your emergency contact.. ;)”

“Will you be my G-Protein? Because I want to be coupled with you!”

“Nice antibody. Wanna conjugate?”

“Are you a C-reactive protein? Because you have acute-phase! (a-cute-face*)”

“Don’t you worry baby, my ligand and your receptor are perfect for each other.”

“Did you alter my vestibular apparatus?! Because I keep falling over for you!”

“I’d check your blood sugar, but you’re sweet enough.”

“What do you and a febrile patient have in common? You’re both hot.”

“I’m a med student, trust me, I KNOW how to palpate you right! ;)”

“I’m jealous of your stethoscope… I am the one who should be wrapped around your neck!”

“Why study an embryo when we can make one!”

“You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?”

“Are you an anesthesiologist? Because, baby, you sure do know how to knock out my senses!”

“Better grab the AED… you just made my heart stop!”

“If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? smooth or rough? ;)”

Do you have a favorite med pickup line? Add yours to the list via the comments section! 

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